Well, I'm excited
to report that the pile is no longer! Yes, that's right
folks, the wait is over, you can stop biting your finger nails
and quit
checking the weather reports obsessively.
And the winner is:
George Kucera & Stephan Koenig!
But wait, you say, George had April 24th and
Stephan had April 27th! How can
they both be the winner? I can explain.
The pile very inconveniently chose to expire
this past weekend while the
Primary Snowologists were away at a conference. While we were
away, we had a
crack team of Junior Snowologists guarding the pile and monitoring
its
meltation every day...except last Saturday. What we know officially
is that
on Friday, April 25th, the pile was small but still alive and
kickin' (Exhibit A), but by Monday April 28th the pile had
expired (Exhibit B).
Junior Snowologist Hana Kucera admirably agreed to take my
place (4/5 humans
can't tell us apart anyway...) and confirm the "extinct" status
of the pile
using the official finger test (Exhibit C). Though we have
received
anecdotal evidence that the pile completely melted early on
Sunday, April
27th (Stephan's day), we cannot rule out that it was gone by
Saturday (which
would make George the winner).
The point - Since our only hard evidence says
the pile was alive Friday and
dodo'd by Monday, we have decided to split the difference and
declare both
George and Stephan the winner. Each will receive half of the
$155 total pot
of money. How very fair of us.
So, that's that I suppose. In the immortal words
of that stuttering swine
Porky Pig: "Th-th-th-that's all folks". The final
updates and photos of the
winners with fake oversized cheques will be posted on the webpage
soonish.
Please join us again next year when we return with another
season of "As the
pile melts". |
|
|
| Exhibit A: April 25th - Oh NO, it's
melting! |
|
| Exhibit B: April 28th - Just pieces
of the Foreign Enveloping Noticeably-Coloured Enclosure where
the pile used to be! |
|
| Exhibit C: April 28th - Our Junior
Snowologist, Hana, says, "It's
official, the pile is extinct! Spring must be here." |
|
| Pile status for April
16th. This could be the second-to-last pile update, and that makes
our hearts a
little bit sad. |
What
causes a pile to melt? Top snowologists have come up with two equally-believable
theories - the "Astronomical theory" and "Astrological
theory" of pile meltation.
|
 |
Astronomical
Theory of Pile Meltation: Long term changes in global
climate are caused by changes in the Earth's orbit around the Sun,
specifically the 100,000 year eccentricity cycle, the 41,000 year
obliquity cycle, and the 23,000 year precession cycle. Periodically,
these cycles have a combined effect on global climatic that produces
ginormous, continent-smothering glaciers. Snow piles, or "glacier
babies", are believed to form via the same processes, but
are localized to parking lots. Glacier babies upset Jareth, the
Goblin King, because they disrupt his dancing. Jareth unleashes
a merciless army of deformed cartoon suns to melt all snow piles,
leaving defenseless puddles that are tortured by small girls.
|
|
Astrological
Theory of Pile Meltation: If the Sun forges a supportive,
60-degree aspect with Chiron, Venus connects with Ceres via a 60-degree
tie, Mercury conjuncts Pallas in Aries, the cow jumps over the
moon, a little dog laughs to see such sport and the dish runs away
with the spoon, then Poof! Pile gone.
|
|
On April 7th, the pile
has suffered substantial melting due to recent Spring-like conditions.
Also, the pile is extremely dirty, which is potentially contributing
to its rapid rate of disappearance. Note: portions of a Foreign
Enveloping Noticeably-Coloured Enclosure, or F.E.N.C.E. were discovered
protruding from the pile. Possible pile molestation? The members
of the Snowological Centre were quick to take action.
|
|
Darth Tater, head of security
at the Potato Research Centre has been hired to keep his eyes peeled
for any further attempts to molest the pile.
|
|
Darth Tater on watch.
May the force be with anyone who tries to touch the pile now.
|
| April 18th |
| Chris Lane |
| April 23rd |
| Kyatt Dixon |
| April 24th |
| George Kucera |
| April 27th |
| Stephan Koenig |
| April 29th |
| Janice Lawrence |
| April 30th |
| Marina Morabito |
| May 1st |
| Craig Schneider |
| Jennifer Dingman |
| May 2nd |
| Rick Cunjak |
| May 3rd |
| Kat Roy |
| Tiffany Thornhill |
| Nori Yotsukura |
| May 4th |
| Gary Saunders |
| Susan Clayden |
| May 5th |
| Kristy Heard |
| Denise Clark |
| Brian MacDonald |
| Doug Freeman |
| Laura Tedone |
| Andrew Rees |
| Rodney Withall |
| May 7th |
| Katy Hind |
| Hana Kucera |
| Charlene Mayes |
| Josh Kurek |
| May 8th |
| Blake Edwards |
| May 9th |
| Julie Ryu |
| May 10th |
| Sarah Hamsher |
| May 11th |
| Sarah Davies |
| May 13th |
| Bethany Herrmann |
| May 16th |
| Matt Lemay |
| May 18th |
| Dan Curtis |
| May 22nd |
| Dan McDevit |
| Tanya Moore |
| June 1st |
| Bryan Crawford |
|
|
| Thanks to the Little Winter
That Could, this year's pile grew to become more of a pile mountain
range. Which of these majestic, filth-encrusted peaks will be
the last to succumb to Spring? Only time will tell. |
|
| A view from the Eastern
side of K3. Note the difference in climate on each side of the
pile - the Southern slopes clearly experience a "dirt shadow".
The cup is an obvious attempt to affect pile meltation, and the
perpetrator, when caught, will be forced to consume a cupful
of snow from the Southern slopes. |
|
| Pile height on March 31st. |
|
|
Return of the Pile
Welcome to the 2008 Pile Challenge! The original pile returns
this year in full force. After a few years absence, the classic
pile is back! All bets must be received by April 1,
2008. See the PEO (Pile Executive Officer) Maestra Clarkston,
in Room 270 or email her: bridgette.clarkston(at)unb.ca.
Here are a few more pile shots: |
